Is it right for a believer to be in a relationship with a non-believer?
By Maston Chirole Gondwe
This is a subject that many people have argued a lot; quite a number of people believe that it is not necessary for a believer to marry a non-believer, including my fellow born-again Christians. One thing that you should never forget in life is that God will not lower His standards, so it’s a man who raises the bar to meet God’s standards.
As a child of God, you should know and understand that God is not only concerned with marriage; husband and wife only? The answer is NO, He is even much more concerned about the offspring. In Malachi 2:15 {NLT} the bible says “Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.”
The bible says in Deuteronomy 14: 2 {NLT} “You have been set apart as holy to the Lord your God, and he has chosen you from all the nations of the earth to be his own special treasure.” So, a believer is a special person. Being a special person, God wants to protect your seed and it is very awful for a peculiar man to marry a commoner. It can only take a higher grace of God for you to marry a non-believer and go well with it.
In one of the letters that Apostle Paul wrote to the church of Corinthians, the man of God clearly emphasised why you should not involve yourself in relationship with unbelievers.
It can only take a higher grace of God for you to marry a non-believer and go well with it.
Maston Gondwe
14 “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? 16 And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God said: “I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people. 17 Therefore, come out from among unbelievers, and separate yourselves from them, says the Lord. Don’t touch their filthy things, and I will welcome you. 18 And I will be your Father, and you shall be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty”. {2 Corinthians 6:14-18 NLT}
The question now is, what communion can you have with a non-believer?
Sometimes we think it is not important for a man to have a relationship with a non-believer. We think that with time, we can change our partner as part of soul-winning; really? wait a minute! It is unwise to misuse the grace of God; the will of a man does not override the mercies of God. In 1 Corinthians 15:33 {NLT}the bible says “Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.” No one can change a man except the word of God through the ministration of the Holy Spirit. Being in a relationship with a non-believer is like accepting the devil to be your father in-law, because anyone who is not in Christ is the devil’s playground. If you marry a child of a devil, the devil himself becomes your father in-law; a father in-law has got rights to come at your house at any time. It’s better for you to be single than to date or marry a non-believer because an ungodly husband or ungodly wife cannot do God’s will in marriage.
There are more scriptures in the bible that show how serious God is on giving up yourself to foreign seeds, in James 4:4 {NLT} the bible says, “You adulterers! Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God.” Each time a believer gets into a relationship with a non-believer he becomes a friend of the world. In 1 Kings 11:4 {NLT} “In Solomon’s old age, they turned his heart to worship other gods instead of being completely faithful to the Lord his God, as his father, David, had been.” The consequences of verse 4 in Solomon’s life were because he loved many strange women {non-believers}. As seen in verse 1 of the same chapter, foreign seed will surely corrupt your holy seed in you. Therefore, it is not wise for a believer to be in a relationship with unbeliever unless you are being directed by the Lord to do so like Samson {Proverbs 9:9 NLT} ‘Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more’